Tag Archives: independence

Pursuit of Happiness

Kemi had a frown on her face as everyone smiled at the photographer. Her mum looked at her briefly and nudged her. “Smile. The pictures have to look perfect.”

As Kemi opened her mouth to respond, she saw her father’s face and immediately dropped the idea. She faked a smile and looked at the photographer her dad had paid to cover her graduation.

*****

Ten minutes earlier, her father had told her to start preparing to go for her PhD. She was sick and tired of being controlled by her father but she could not bring herself to stand up to him.

Her father was the reason why she had studied Mechanical Engineering for her first degree. He was also the reason why she was graduating today with a Masters in Mechanical Engineering. She had discussed with her mother the previous night about following her passion which was creating art but she had been told that her father must not hear of it.

She was reminded by her mother that her father had said his two children must be inventors in the field of engineering.

“Mummy, if you are after inventions, I will be an inventor as I create art.”

“Gbé ënu ë sóhùn jàre. Kí lo mò.” (Keep your mouth shut. What do you know?) Your father wants the best for you and your brother.

“And what if his best is not good enough for me, mum?”

“Kemi, of all the things to think of; it is colouring, when you are not a baby.  Whatever your father says is final. I want to go to bed. Tomorrow is your graduation.” Kemi’s mother had concluded.

*****

Kemi felt disgusted as she thought about her discussion with her mum and her father’s PhD proposition. The thought of spending about four years doing her PhD when she could be following her passion upset her. The thought of not being allowed to be independent in her decisions at almost twenty-five annoyed her.

As she lay on her bed later that evening, she began to detest herself. She began to hate her parents and her life began to lose meaning to her.

Will Kemi eventually decide to stand up to her father and pursue her own happiness?

Do you have a similar story to share? Please use the comments section below.

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Photo Credit: https://www.healthbeatblog.org

Nigeria at 58

Just like the eyes cannot see without a body

The hand is also useless unattached to the body

I look forward to a nation filled with peace

A nation where the citizens understand that our cultural and religious differences make each one of us important

None lesser or greater than the other

I look forward to a nation where greed and strife become history

A nation where our leaders understand that leadership means service

Above all, I hope for a better Nigeria

A Nigeria where the citizens can proudly proclaim their love for their nation

A Nigeria where dreams come true

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Photo Credit: http://www.punchng.com

Old generation versus New generation parents

When I see a parent getting along very well with his/her child, I smile at the good relationship they share. This seems to be the trend with the “new generation” parents. The parents aged 20 something to 40 something.

For those of us born in the 70s and 80s, a number of us would need a rethink to answer the question, “Do you get along well or do you have a good relationship with your parents?” Our parents can be classified as the “old generation” parents.

Don’t get me wrong, we love them! But do we share a relationship with them, just as the generation Z have with their own parents? I doubt it.

You see, a number of us were whipped too many times for both genuine and false reasons. We were trained by maids because our parents were busy with work. We were shipped away to boarding houses because our parents had to make money. We had almost no relationship with our parents growing up. We all grew up independently and then our independence became a problem to our parents.

Old vs New generation parenting

They failed to realize that we were no longer children. We had become young adults. To them, we grew up too soon and they were shocked that we had learnt to live on our own. They wanted to decide which course we read in the university, which state we served our nation for our National Youth Service, which job we decided to take up and which man/woman we decided to get married to.

Fast forward to the “new generation” parents. They seem to be more liberal in their thinking. Yes, some still send their kids to boarding houses but they are more involved in their lives. They want to grow together with their kids so they are not caught unawares like our “old generation” parents. They allow their kids to be both dependent and independent in their choices. They have conversations with their kids because they want to feel their heartbeat.

Old vs New generation parenting 2

I love the “old generation parent” but I would rather be a “new generation” parent.
Which would you rather be?

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Photo credit: http://www.wikihow.com