I am reading the papers on my bed when my phone rings. It is not a known number and I wait a few seconds so True caller can pick the ID. It does, but the name doesn’t ring a bell. I pick the call all the same.
Caller: Am I speaking to Bukola?
He pauses a bit and I am beginning to wonder.
Caller: My name is G….(which is by the way different from what Truecaller spools) and I am calling you from …….(he mentions the government parastatal he works for). I was just scrolling through my phone now and I saw your name, so I decided to call.
I rack my brain in a bid to match the name and organization.
Caller: I want to know you.
I imagine that I did not hear that.
BO: You want to know me?
Caller: Yes, I want to know you. (probably smiling sheepishly).
BO: Have we met before?
Caller: No, we haven’t. That is why I want to know you”.
To say I am stunned is an understatement.
BO: You see my number on your phone, but we haven’t met before….
Caller: Yes, I was scrolling through this True something….
Caller: Yes, Truecaller and I saw your number and decided to call you.
BO: Is that how you just pick up the phone and call people you have never met before just so you can know them?
Caller: I don’t think there is anything wrong in knowing you. Can I ask you a question?
BO: Go ahead.
Caller: Are you married?
BO: Yes, I am.
Caller: Do you have a friend?
This is beginning to get interesting.
BO: Do I have a friend?
Caller: Yes, do you have a friend? I mean, do you have friends?
BO: Yes, I have friends.
Caller: So how did you meet them?
BO: Excuse me, where is this going?
Caller: You probably met some of them through Facebook or other social media. You know, people meet that way, start chatting, then hook up.
BO: Sorry, if I have never met you, then you cannot be my friend. I don’t hook up with people I meet on Facebook. Besides, friendship is a choice. It is not by force. So, I do not wish to know you.
He tries to laugh, maybe to lighten the discussion. I imagine.
Caller: But people meet that way, become friends and……
BO: I am not “people”. I am “me”.
He is talking but I am no longer listening. This discussion is taking too long and I am getting upset.
BO: What exactly is the purpose of this call?
He exclaims and cuts the call. I give a long hiss and go back to reading my papers.
Really???? Some folks must be either jobless or have lots of call credit to burn.